Did ever occurred to you to receive a compliment that you thought is not true?
Or did you ever relied mainly on other people to make you compliments while in your silence you just criticize yourself over and over again?
Often we have two parts. One part that we show to the people in outer world and another one that we only see ourselves. These two sides of us, when we try becoming someone else, or to adhere to an etiquette that is not aligned to our true self, breaks us apart. We lose energy. We lose the motivation. We lose the purpose. We lose the sense of belonging. We lose the possibility to achieve a goal just because these two parts are different, they want different things, they manifest different behaviors.
Have you ever asked yourself what do you show to the world? And what do you keep only for yourself?
We often call “ego” the part we show to the people. “Ego” knows our inner desires and is doing reality checks to tell us how we can fulfill our dreams. Its way to fulfill our desires is not always leading us to the imagined result; but for sure we keep doing certain behaviors with the intention to satisfy an important need. If we do not recognize the intention of our behaviors, we may find ourselves acting in a way that prevent us reaching our goals. We call that self-sabotage. Nevertheless those actions are there for a very important cause. They fulfill a vital necessity. Until we know it, we cannot move on. And while we do not move on, everything we cannot do drops our self-esteem. We start to perceive ourselves as helpless persons, that we are not good enough or even that we do not deserve the things we aim for.
Some people give up, some others keep fighting; some people start searching inside the resources, some others blame whoever they can for their mistakes or failures; some people eventually make it, but most of them fail and the only thing remaining for them is that they cannot do it, they are not good enough or they don’t deserve it.
For this last category and for the people who hardly accept compliments, for the ones who keep fighting or searching their resources, I created a series of 4 workshops on self-esteem.
In the first workshop, we will explore our inner vision about ourselves and the external projection and perception. We identify the saboteur and reconcile the wants and resources so we bring into line our objectives. When we achieve this state, we give ourselves a calm and warm sense of home for our self-esteem, an encouragement that sometimes welcomes the silence.
Photo by Yeshi Kangrang