I am born in a sign that, I think, it invented daydreaming. I grew up as a kid with imaginary friends, creating, designing and crafting my own toys, fixing broken things, being curious to know and learn all about this world and doing it all with joy. I was very serious when playing my roles or when using my hand made arsenal.
A toy story
I believe I never gave too much attention to the other ready made toys. Though, I remember 3 of them: a car, a ball and a doll. The car, it was a small green truck, and had chickens, ducks and gooses in the back. Very small, but the animals seem very real. I loved to hear its wheels on the floor, and see those small birds coming and going. The ball was my friend back then, I associated it with energy. I was loving football, basketball, tennis and ping pong, whatever had to do with a ball, so I used it very often in and outside to consume my endless energy reserve.
The magic doll
And then the doll… I think it still exists now, in my parents house. I did not played with it too much. It is a big doll, and heavy. I was watching it, and imagining that it is a witch, a curly witch with great powers that could turn a stick into the most beautiful horse I could ride in the house, could make me a palace under the table where, sometimes I was the Princess, some other times a musketeer or just a visiting fairy. Curly could transform the lamp in form of a rocket with the red light we used for illuminating the room in the evening, and she could take me with it to the moon during the sleep and back when I awake. I also believed that she could protect me from shadows at night so I used to put it to watch my window, so she could see all is outside. I also used to stay awake long after everyone else was asleep, and watch the night, the stars and the moon through the window and the trees, especially in the winter, and I was asking her how the night is or if it is safe for kids to go out there midnight. She always told me about the beauty of the silver moon, the curtain of stars and comets and always made me believe I am safe.
I guess I never gave that doll a name, or I don’t remember it now. I was calling it very often, Curly or Witch whenever asking her to help me prepare for the role I was about to play. And she was always there, responding me back in no time.
I built the belief that magic exists
This way, even if it seems silly, I grew up believing that magic exists. Curly could help me do whatever I imagined I wanted to do, or be whoever I dreamed to be. The only magic that never worked was the homework. I tried it few times, but it just would not want to write itself by magic alone. I was assuming that perhaps more powerful witches than Curly can do it, or maybe is because she does not have a magic wand to finish it. So, I used to be upset with her for minutes and do my own homework fast so I can play with more magic after that.
Later in life, when starting to read about magic, to study about language, neuro-linguistics programming and coaching, I realized that I formed this belief that magic exist, and that I kept it true throughout the years. I repeated it every day as kid and made it stronger. So I was building my evidence every time when asking Curly to help me be someone else, or do something new that I never tried before. And it always worked. Except for the homework.
This belief helped me as adult many times. I got to live and witness some miracles along the way of my existence, that were made possible just because I believed (in magic). Resources were coming to me when I needed them, thoughts were becoming true, intuition and unknown forces saved my life couple of times. As I leaned and experienced many things and my language of asking for them refined, the time to get what I needed, was shortening.
My “spells” were in fact prayers from the heart, but asked with clarity, love and the innocence of doing good and being good in this world.
I remember again from Once upon a time series, that “magic always comes with a price“. So it did for me. Always. No exception. The price of becoming what I wished for was to let go that me who placed the wish. Sometimes was like living a miracle, sometimes, that separation hurt badly. I even lost my way and myself few times…But no matter where I landed, there was no coming back and no undo possible to anything.
Now, when I wish magic to happen, I wish to feel in a certain way. I wish to feel happy, content, compassionate, understanding or curious and to get all I need to feel that way.
I know that no matter what road I get to take, at the end of it it will still be me, feeling what I wished for. This way, I enjoy the journey with curiosity to see how will I get to my destination this time, what marvelous places and surroundings, energies and emotions will I get to know and feel, who will I meet in the way and who will accompany me in my quest. And last, I will find out what will I become more and less at the end of this journey.
Have a good week.