I always knew that I am blessed and taken care of by light beings. A guardian angel was always by my side. I felt that many times!
In childhood, I accepted my divine protection and had fun knowing is there. It was part of my identity, part of my tiny life. An angel’s blessing encompassed my aura, keeping me safe and guiding me to make the best choices. I trusted that bond. I put in it all my faith because for no logical reason, I knew is right for me. When I needed it most, it was there; my guiding light, my trusted adviser, my safety in this realm, my inner connection, my intuition, my divine eternal gift.
Later in life, I wanted to feel in control. I wanted to be independent. That thrive for “freedom”, that need to be accountable for my life, for explaining logically everything that ever happened to me, made me question and ultimately reject the connection. Some moments and reactions were defying everything that is logic. My philosophy to explain those moments was “I can’t explain therefore I ignore”. And ignorance, even though I knew there is something else behind the obvious, made me doubt. Doubt turned into fear, and fear took the safety feeling away from me.
Mayday, mayday! Anyone there?
Losing safety, being surrounded by fear, I got to live in a cold place of my being, where I “controled” my life. But everything was frozen and red lights warned me at every corner. I was unsure and doubted every choice, worried for every move; my steps were smaller and smaller, trembling and shaking. The fear that I might see, hear or feel something “ilogic” became my nightmare. To cope with bad dreams, I comforted myself:” I “control” all these steady steps.”
Mayday, mayday! If I see a light dragon coming to rescue me, and wants to take me in a dreamlandso I live a fairy tale life what should I do, or say?
“Sorry, dragons no longer exist! I can’t control nor explain your existance so, thanks but you may go now! I will do my next move ” brave” enough, and it will take me 25 cm further to my dream. Goodbye now! ” and continue to myself: “What a weird imagination. A light dragon… This can be a good subject to a fantasy book! Hah, girl, you are so funny with this creative mind images of yours!”
And I’d come back to my scary realm, thinking I was just imagining light dragons, unicorns and fairies and I’d conclude that none of these exist.
But when I needed it most, when I was ready to surrender, when I believed with all my heart that just a miracle can change my status quo, and I asked a divine gift or sign, my winged was always there. Out of nowhere resources appeared, people and ideas came to save me from my frozen red lighted nightmare. Then, and only then it felt like riding light dragons, it tasted like freedom, it smelled like courage, it empowered me to feel I am the queen of my world. Then set me free of the imagined need for control, free of the need to explain myself to others.
I can now live FREE to just be!
If you would see a light dragon, a fairy or an unicorn what would you do or say?