I was born in a sign that I think, invented daydreaming. I grew up as a kid with imaginary friends, creating, designing, crafting my toys, fixing broken things, curious to know and learn about this world, and doing it all with joy. I was very serious when playing my roles or using my handmade arsenal.

A toy story

I believe I never gave too much attention to the other ready-made toys. I remember 3 of them: a car, a ball, and a doll. The car was a small green truck and had chickens, ducks, and gooses in the back. They were tiny, but the animals seemed very real. I loved to hear its wheels on the floor and see those small birds coming and going. The ball was my friend back then; I associated it with energy. I loved football, basketball, tennis, and ping pong, whatever had to do with a ball, so I used it often in and outside to consume my endless energy reserve.

The magic doll

And then the doll… I think it still exists now in my parents’ house. I did not play with it too much. It is a big doll, and heavy. I was watching it and imagining that it was a witch, a curly witch with extraordinary powers that could turn a stick into the most beautiful horse I could ride in the house and could make me a palace under the table where, sometimes, I was the Princess, some other times a musketeer or just a visiting fairy. Curly could transform the lamp into a rocket with the red light we used for illuminating the room in the evening, and she could take me with it to the moon during sleep and back when I awake. I also believed that she could protect me from shadows at night, so I used to put it to watch my window, so she could see all was outside. I also used to stay awake long after everyone else was asleep, and watch the night, the stars and the moon through the window and the trees, especially in the winter, and I was asking her how the night was or if it was safe for kids to go out there midnight. She always told me about the beauty of the silver moon, the curtain of stars and comets, and always made me believe I was safe.

I guess I never gave that doll a name, or I don’t remember it now. But, I often called it Curly or Witch whenever asking her to help me prepare for the role I was about to play. And she was always there, responding to me back in no time.

Photo by VanveenJF on Unsplash

I built the belief that magic exists.

This way, even if it seems silly, I grew up believing that magic exists. Curly could help me do whatever I imagined I wanted or be whoever I dreamed of being. The only magic that never worked was the homework. I tried it a few times, but it would not want to write itself by magic alone. I was assuming that perhaps more powerful witches than Curly can do it, or maybe because she does not have a magic wand to finish it. So, I used to be upset with her for minutes and do my homework fast to play with more magic after that.

Later in life, when starting to read about magic, study language, neuro-linguistics programming, and coaching, I realized that I formed this belief that magic exists and that I kept it true throughout the years. I repeated it every day as a kid and made it more robust. So I was building my evidence whenever asking Curly to help me be someone else or do something new that I had never tried before. And it always worked except for the homework.

This belief helped me as an adult many times. I got to live and witness some miracles along the way of my existence that were made possible just because I believed (in magic). Resources were coming to me when I needed them, thoughts were becoming valid, and intuition and unknown forces saved my life several times. As I learned and experienced many things and my language of asking for them refined, the time to get what I needed was shortening.

My „spells” were prayers from the heart but asked with clarity, love, and the innocence of doing good and being good in this world.

I remember again from the Once upon a time series that „magic always comes with a price.” So it did for me. Always. No exception. The price of becoming what I wished for was to let go of that me who placed the wish. Sometimes was like living a miracle; sometimes, that separation hurt severely. I even lost my way and myself a few times…But no matter where I landed, there was no coming back and no undoing possible.

I want to feel a certain way when I wish magic to happen. I wish to feel happy, content, compassionate, understanding, or curious and to get all I need to feel that way.

I know that no matter what road I take, it will still be me at the end of it, feeling what I wished for. This way, I enjoy the journey with curiosity to see how I will get to my destination this time, what marvelous places and surroundings, energies and emotions I will get to know and feel, who I will meet on the way and who will accompany me in my quest. And last, I will discover what I will become more and less at the end of this journey.