For many years I considered crying a gesture of weakness. It is the culture I was raised in teaching me so. I tried to be taught in impossible life moments, and I made it. But somewhere inside me, that grief and sadness found their way to a shelter. I kept them trapped and hidden behind my smile for a long time. But I wouldn’t say I liked those emotions. And as much as I wanted them to disappear, they kept hitting me harder and harder.
I thought I had my moments of tearing up at positive events: weddings, love stories, good news, social cases of hunger, sickness, animal or environmental abuse or bullying, taught lives. But, I never knew why I cried in those situations nor how to stop the tears. Then, one day, I realized it was my way of crying out the grief and the sadness I had kept and carried with me for many years. With every injustice and betrayal I witnessed in someone else’s story, I cried out not only their stories but also the injustices I wasn’t brave enough to express. With every abandonment or rejection I saw, I uncovered my deep-buried wounds; this opportunity made me acknowledge and accept my truth, live my grief and sadness and move on lighter than ever.
I remembered crying!
The first day I permitted myself, I cried for hours, being happy that I could yell. Heavyweights got out of my chest; salty sighs talked to my soul, teaching me how to let go; healing sobs washed my pain away, allowing an inner jewel to uncover and be seen.
Since then, I sometimes cry because those salty tears wash out the shades covering my eyes and intensify their yellowish color; occasionally, I call to take out the remaining grief smoldering deep in my heart or help myself overcome difficult situations. Crying is my embedded mechanism to cope with life challenges.
The day when I remembered to cry was one of the most healing days of my life! For me, it is my resource day!
When I don’t know what to do, I remember I can cry. When I am carrying too much pain, I remember to cry. When I live too much happiness, I cry also. It is my mechanism to moderate my emotions and their impact on the physical and emotional body. And for me, it is perfectly safe.
I invite you to explore what is for you, the relationship with crying… What beliefs do you hold on to about letting tears roll down your face?
P. S. This article and all materials on this blog solely describe my personal development experience. It should not be taken as medical advice. If you have any affection that vivid emotions can influence, please talk to your doctor or psychologist about it.